10 Things to consider before you say I DO

Marriage is a beautiful journey but before you decide to join yourself to someone forever you have to consider a few things which I think is necessary to consider before walking down the aisle. Often, when we’re dating or engaged, we overlook some important areas of our lives that we need to consider before we walk down the aisle. Below I share 10 things which I think you shouldn’t overlook

1. BELIEFS

What you and your partner believe in is so important and is the basis of what will determine a lot of decisions in marriage. Beliefs are so important to me that’s why I listed it first I can honestly say that being on the same page with my husband has made my marriage so smooth in terms of what how we make decisions.

Having different belief systems doesn’t necessarily mean that your marriage can’t work, but you’ll have some very challenging waters to navigate–as a couple and between your families, as well. Add children to the mix, and things could become much more complicated.

2. GOALS

Which goals do you have as individuals and as a couple? How will your marriage affect your goals, and vice versa? These are some important questions to consider before entering into marriage with someone because you can find yourself in a bad situation once you have entered into marriage and realize you and your partners goals are badly affected by your marriage and can lead to fights and worse even the end of your marriage.

3. BAGGAGE

It’s easy to say the past can’t define us–and it shouldn’t. But it can seriously impact the present and future more than you might like to admit. Clearing the air together about any past baggage you’re bringing into your relationship is a great service you can perform for one another.

Love and grace can overcome the most painful of past experiences, but working through this together now will help the two of you decide whether the past is going to prevent your relationship from moving forward.

DON’T MARRY SOMEONES WHOSE BAGGAGE YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT. There are so many cases of people who know their partners baggage before marriage and they end up going through with the marriage then they crucify their partners inside marriage for their baggage which is so bad.

4.FINANCES

It is so important that you are able to talk about finances with your partner. The way the two of you approach finances will absolutely impact your entire life. Communicating about money isn’t usually pleasant, but it will give you insight into one another’s habits and mindset when it comes to spending, saving, and stewardship.

5.MINDSET

It is so important share and know the type of mindset your future partner has How do each of you approach the world–with optimism, pessimism, or realism? Your mindset is the lens through which you view the world, and if your mindsets clash with one another, it may be very difficult to face life’s ups and downs together.

6.CHILDREN Never assume that you and your partner want the same things regarding children so find out before you say I do about what your partner wants regarding children. Don’t gamble on the assumption that you can change one another’s minds down the road to fit with your own desires. It’s better to know before you get married if there’s something between you that could level your relationship once the covenant has been established

7.PRIORITIES

It is so important to know what your partner sees as a priority . You’ll find that the everyday priorities you hold will tell you both a lot about each other. Verbalizing priorities isn’t enough; you must watch one another’s actions in order to discern for yourselves what things take precedence in your life.

Determine whether your priorities align, or whether they might cause conflict in a marriage situation. It’s not easy to anticipate challenges you might face in the future when you’re dating and in love, but conflicting priorities in a marriage will quickly send you down a path you won’t want to follow.

8. SEX Our views of sex and sexuality are shaped long before we commit to marriage. It’s crucial to get comfortable with this topic of conversation, because it’s one that you’ll carry on for the rest of your married life. What are your views of sex, and how have they been shaped? What is your past sexual history and how might that impact your relationship? What expectations do you have and are you on the same page? Understanding your sexual views and knowing your partner’s is a valuable part of preparing for intimacy

9. SECRETS

I get a lot of questions from people wondering when is the right time to share “secrets”- the parts of your life that you rarely share with others. There is no better time to share these intimate things than now, as you look ahead at marriage. From family secrets, to personal choices, from health problems to mental health concerns, this is the time to share things big and small, paving the way for honesty and openness as the foundation of your relationship.

10.STRUGGLES:

One thing I know about marriage, is that it magnifies everything. Your strengths…and your weaknesses. Before you enter the pressure-cooker of marriage, you need to get real with your bad-habits and hang-ups here and now. Do you have a tendency to express anger through rage? Do you struggle with any addictive behaviors? Are there any areas in your life that you need to expose and address before you move forward toward marriage? Take the time to talk frankly and honestly about your struggles, and make the time to work toward hope and healing

The above 10 things to consider before marriage are things you need to consider which I think is important before you take the big step with your partner and say “I Do”. Don’t allow the pressure of creating the “perfect wedding” to keep you from focusing on what really matters. Plan your wedding, but most importantly, plan your marriage- because a healthy marriage is something worth truly celebrating

1 thought on “10 Things to consider before you say I DO”

  1. Such enlightenment! Privileged to not yet be married and I get to know such things we’d normally never take into consideration before stepping into such.
    Beautiful, thank you for sharing.💖

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