Mom Guilt is the feeling of guilt, doubt, anxiousness or uncertainty experienced by mothers when they worry they’re failing or falling short of expectations in some way. For many moms–particularly new, working or single moms–the variables that contribute to this phenomenon are numerous and intense.
My mom guilt journey started this year I decided to go back to work after my daughter turned 9months which I thought was a good age for me as my daughter was “not that young” in my eyes but I know in most persons eyes they may feel that is still too early.
Nobody tells moms about the guilt that comes with leaving your child and doing something other than being with your child at that time. Even people around you will make you feel like all you should do with your life is care for your child 24/7 and not do anything else.
Take a quick side step into popular culture, the blogosphere or your own friend group, however, and you will quickly learn that Mom Guilt is a real and powerful thing. As a Mom Guilt survivor, I know that it can be the driving force behind relationship choices, career decisions and childcare options.
I had to overcome this guilt and beat it before it overcame me.I know there must be ways to overcome it and I want to share some ways I discovered to get over it because trust me being away from you children can be so hard for both parties.
Here are some ways I beat my mom guilt
• Help yourself first
If you don’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of your children. You need to be in the right state and 100%.Many people don’t want moms to take care of themselves and even as a mom you don’t feel the need to take care of yourself but mom you are important!!
• Be honest
Understand that perfection and parenting is ridiculous. Accept that you will make mistakes and be honest with your children when you drop the ball.
• Stop judging yourself
Your best is good enough. Stop comparing your best to other classroom moms, working parents and neighbourhood families. Live out your own story and stop attempting to star in someone else’s drama.
• Keep it positive
Focus on the positive things that you are doing. Instead of looking at what isn’t working with your parenting, ask yourself, “What am I doing right?” Ask your children the same question. Their answers might surprise you.
• Have a little guilt
Know that a little guilt makes you healthy. It means that you care about your family and the way that they experience you.
• Don’t sweat the small stuff
Sometimes we are our own worst critics. Breathe in and blow it out. Tomorrow is a new day.
• Create a supportive community for yourself
Consider joining in with a group of moms that are non-judgmental and supportive.
Mother’s guilt is only natural and is the consequence of wanting to be a good mother to your children. However, in the end it will only weigh you down. Consider my tips and shed that extra weight.
You’ll find that you feel lighter, happier, and more ready and willing to enjoy motherhood for the important and fulfilling experience that it is. And when faced with the disappointing fact that you are not capable of providing your children with everything you want for them, remember that no child that grew up with love in their home was left wanting.