Being in a marriage for over 4 years now I have come to understand how important it is to value your spouse as time goes but the challenge comes in when you have to show your spouse that you value them because each one has a different love language and you need understand your partners language to be able to successfully show them that you value them.
The primary attitude that will help your spouse feel emotionally safe is when he believes that you understand how incredibly valuable he is. That is the essence of honour. Honora is a decision to view our spouse as a priceless treasure – a person of high worth and value. This is what King Solomon encouraged as well: “A man’s greatest treasure is his wife” (Proverbs 18:22).
Honor isn’t based on behaviour or subject to emotion. You grant your spouse value whether they want it or deserve it. Honora is a decision you make and a gift you give. This is exactly what the apostle Paul encouraged the early Christians to do when he wrote, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honour” (Romans 12:10).
So it is clear from the bible that we need to value our spouses and this needs to be a deliberate effort but I know personally this isn’t one of the easiest thing to do if you and your spouse are for example going through difficult times and arguing the first thing you forget is your partners value.
Unfortunately if you forget or fail to see your partners value at that time you are not in a safe position at all .When you lose sight of your partners value you are more prone or likely to treat her in a dishonouring ways. Then when you now dishonour your partner they are more likely to put up a defensive wall.
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage but there is such a thing as two imperfect people coming together to make a union work that is all that matters. Once any one of you or your spouse no longer want to fight to make your union work that is because your partner no longer sees value in you.
So the goal is to focus on the value of your partner no matter what you go through. Luke 12:34 explains why it is so powerful: “For where your treasure is, so there will your heart be also.” In other words, your heart will be open to what you value. One way to keep your heart open and your spouse feeling safe with you are to focus on their value.
You can create this honour list for our spouse as well. Take several minutes to list all the reasons why your spouse is so valuable. For example: a character trait, faith pattern, values, morals, parenting skills, spirituality, the roles he or she plays that you appreciate (worker, friend, parent, sibling, son), personality characteristic, how he or she treats you, etc.
And don’t keep the amazing list to yourself – share it with your spouse. Let her know that you recognize her value. When this happens, not only does your spouse benefit, but you are positively impacted as well.
Some ways to show value to your partner that I have found are as follows:
1. Prioritizing time for your partner above everything else you do you must also set out time to spend with your partner because you two can never lose that connection between the two of you.
2. Create a value list of the reasons you value your partner and don’t keep it to yourself share it with your partner.
3. Accept your partners flaws, your partner isn’t perfect know that and accept it and love your partner for who they ae.
4. Dont compares your partner to someone else because they are unique and you are to love them and value them that way.
I hope these points above assist you in your journey to valuing your partner.